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Do not get mad during a divorce, get what you deserve

By James Pascoe


When we get married, we promise to stay together and love each other for richer or for poorer. I am sure we all mean it at the time, but the sad truth is that one in three marriages will fail and end in divorce. Obviously, these are stressful times with both partners feeling vulnerable and hurt. Often the first reaction is to lash out and be vindictive, especially if there are children involved, so that you get what you think you deserve and make your partner more miserable that you are. However, a cool head is required at this point more than ever. Remember, you are not looking for speedy revenge here. What gets decided will influence the rest of your life. For that reason it is always a good idea to contact a lawyer to help you sort everything out. There are some great Glasgow legal services on offer if you live in that part of the country.

Your lawyer will be able to help you go through the events that led to this point, help you to decide what you should be looking for as a settlement and help you realise what is practical. Remember, your partner will also have a lawyer who will be offering him or her advice. If you can, it is better to deal with these issues without going to court and as amicably as possible. It is also worth considering how you will proceed with the divorce and what grounds you will put forward. A solicitor will always give you good advice on these matters.

Scottish law offers 5 reasons to get divorced. The most obvious one being adultery. Actually adultery is a very difficult reason to prove. It is not enough to have circumstantial evidence, or even written evidence like emails or love letters. Even photos of them kissing are not enough. You actually have to catch them in the act. Obviously this is easier said than done and if you cannot get your spouse to admit it, then it is probably better to put forward another reason. Adultery is such a problematic reason for divorce that the Scottish government are considering abolishing this category.

If your partner abandons you for two years for no good reason, then you can file for divorce on the grounds of desertion. This too is not always as simple as it sounds. What is a good reason? Many couples split for perfectly good reasons, so it is often difficult to make their circumstances fit this element of divorce law. However the law does accept that desertion does not necessarily mean that you have to be somewhere else. You can make this claim even if you live in the same property, so long as you can prove that you are living completely separate existences.

Unreasonable behaviour is the most common reason given for a divorce. this is because t covers such a wide spectrum of activities and actions. The test is fairly simple: If you find your partner's behaviour such that you can not reasonably be expected to continue living with them, then that is considered unreasonable behaviour. Of course, that leaves the door open for almost any behaviour, but the most common ones are financial difficulties, addiction to gambling or alcohol, violence and incompatibility. Your lawyer will be able to advise you as to whether this is the right reason for you to put forward.

Separation is another reason people file for divorce. This category is split into two. Separation with consent is where the couple have been separated for one year and both consent to the divorce. It covers a separation where the two parties have decided that this is the best course for action. Sometimes this happens after people have split to get some space so that they can assess their feelings for each other and, instead of deciding the make another go at the marriage, they decide to get divorced. This is sometimes called a 'no fault divorce', as neither party is deemed to have been at fault, and in most cases they have settled issues over property and responsibilities between themselves. The second category is after two years of separation and does not require the consent of the other party. The court recognises that after such a long split the marriage is effectively over. A Glasgow solicitor can help you if you feel this is the best curse of action for you.

The laws on divorce have tried to move with the times. They recognise that people's lives change and the idea of spending our entire lives with one person is a massive commitment when that could be fifty or sixty years. The main objective is to make it as painless as possible whilst ensuring that both parties don't lose out and that any dependants are looked after. Even if you hope for an amicable divorce, it is always worth consulting with a divorce lawyer to make sure that you follow the process properly.




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