Lanka outpaces Maldives in tourist arrivals

Sri Lanka recorded a 16.5% Yearon-Year growth in tourist arrivals for the period from January to November 2012 attracting 883,353 tourists, outstripping Maldives, a key tourist attraction in the South Asian region.

Maldives only managed to attract 866,310 tourists during the JanuaryNovember period with a mere 2.4% growth, monthly bulletins released by relevant tourism authorities showed. With regard to Maldivian tourist arrivals, China accounted for almost a quarter of total cumulative arrivals, more than double the size of next largest market Germany.

During the same period last year, Sri Lanka and Maldives recorded tourist arrivals of 758,458 and 845,732, respectively.

In November 2012 alone, Sri Lanka attracted 109, 202 tourists with a YoY 20.1% increase, up from 90,889 arrivals in November 2011.

All markets demonstrated positive growth both during the first eleven months up to November and November except Middle East (ME) where arrivals dropped by 4.8% and 22.4% respectively to record 6,151.

According to the arrival data released by the Sri Lanka Tourism Development Authority (SLTDA) for January-November 2012, one quarter of the tourist arrivals represented South Asian region with 220,114 arrivals while India leading the pack with 157,399. Nevertheless the region recorded the lowest YoY growth of 3.9%.

Despite the sovereign debt crisis and the highest unemployment in the Western Europe, 35, 892 tourists travelled to Sri Lanka in November recording a 17.2% YoY growth.

The region accounted for 329,364 arrivals in the first eleven months, the highest number of tourists to the country with an approximately 37% share.

However, it is expected that the 17% YoY growth for the first eleven months to come under pressure in the months to come due to the negative economic conditions prevailing in the Eurozone.

With regard to Western Europe, the highest number of visitors were from the UK amounting 101, 357 with a YoY growth of 5.6%. Visitors from China, Japan, Malaysia, Singapore and Taiwan led the East Asian pack to attract 115,672 arrivals for the first eleven months, recording a YoY growth of 34.6%.

It is expected that the global tourism industry which has a total of one billion outbound tourists and a US $ 3.4 billion daily revenue, will be driven predominantly by Asia in the years to come.

On December 18, Sri Lanka welcomed her 950,000 visitor accomplishing the annual target for 2012. The SLTDA is optimistic about the one million tourist arrivals target in 2012, that would yield a revenue exceeding $1 billion, up from last year’s record $830.3 million.

Meanwhile revenue from tourism rose 22.1 percent to $790.1 million in the first 10 months of 2012, over the same period last year.

Emirates to fly double daily to Mauritius

Emirates, one of the fastest growing international airlines, has announced the addition of three frequencies to its present 11-weekly flights to Mauritius. The service to the paradise island will be double daily beginning December 2, 2012.

The 12th weekly flight was introduced on October 31 and two further frequencies will be added on December 2. They will be serviced by a Boeing 777-300 in a three-class configuration.

Emirates flight EK3705 will depart Dubai at 1000hrs arriving in Mauritius at 1645hrs. The return journey from Mauritius, EK3706 will depart at 1820hrs arriving in Dubai at 0110hrs, the following day.

“The increase in frequencies will undoubtedly create more opportunities for the Mauritian tourism sector and local economy,” explained Emirates’ Senior Vice-President, West Asia Indian Ocean Ahmed Khoory. The island destination is very popular throughout our network and double daily flights will offer even more flexibility to travellers.”

In January this year, Emirates and the government of Mauritius signed an agreement aimed at jointly promoting the island destination across the airline’s global network. The two parties have engaged in the development of a series of joint activities to increase the visibility and awareness around the island in the 126 destinations to which the airline flies.

“The island destination is an important one for Emirates. We have committed ourselves towards promoting Mauritius and we will drive our efforts in this direction as the island becomes more accessible,” added Khoory.

964,642 tourists visited Mauritius in 2011, representing an increase of 3.2% over the previous year. European tourists accounted for 63.2% of total tourist arrivals with France being the leading market for the island.

Winner of over 500 international awards, Emirates’ unique service offering includes complimentary chauffeur-driven airport transfers for premium customers and an inflight entertainment system featuring over 1,400 channels of new release Hollywood movies, TV, music and games.

With a fast-growing fleet of 188 aircraft, Emirates is the largest operator of A380 and B777 aircraft in the world. The airline currently flies to 126 destinations in 74 countries.

Cathay Pacific introduces ‘Getaway Surprise to China’

Witness the marvels of one of the world’s oldest civilizations as Cathay Pacific Airways brings travellers an exciting ‘Getaway Surprise to China’.

Ranked among the top travel destinations in the world, China is renowned for its scenic landscapes, delicious and diverse cuisine, and wonderful folk art and opera which form the basis of its rich cultural heritage.

Cathay Pacific provides an opportunity for travellers to make the most of an adventurous excursion to this famed destination through ‘Getaway Surprise to China’. Travellers can purchase special Economy and Business Class tickets to Beijing and Shanghai until the December 31 and travel until April 30, 2013.

“We seek to add value to our passengers’ travel options in the coming months, as well as through our world-class inflight services,” comments Cathay Pacific Airways, Colombo Sales and Marketing Manager Ruhan Abbas.

“The frequency and schedules of our flights to Shanghai and Beijing also enable travellers to make the most of their trip.”

Cathay Pacific Airways is represented by Finlays Colombo PLC as general sales agent. For more details regarding this offer, call the Cathay Pacific Colombo office on 2303514/5 or your preferred travel agent.

Here are top 10 destinations to catch the best spectacle...

World's 10 best spots to see the sun rise

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Here are top 10 destinations to catch the best spectacle...

1. Haleakala National Park, Hawaii, USA
Boarding a bus in the wee hours of the morning is a pain, particularly on vacation when the greatest indulgence is sleeping in. But the alarm-clock acknowledgement is worth it if the payoff is watching a sunrise from above the clouds, on the top of a volcano. Various van tours offer the trip through Haleakala National Park in Maui, picking visitors up at 3 am and dropping them off to see the event from the summit. The view is worth the travel time!

2. Svalbard, Norway
The sun rising here holds an almost magical appeal for visitors. Situated north of the Arctic Circle, the northernmost inhabited spot on the planet features the midnight sun, a phenomenon where the sun stays continuously in the sky for 24 hours a day. Glaciers and mountains clutter Svalbard's horizon, painting a landscape that merely enhances the event.

3. Angkor Wat Siem Reap, Cambodia
Angkor Wat any time of day is powerful, but arriving early enough to watch the sunrise offers visitors an even greater spectacle. The preserved temple attracts travellers from around the world, providing them insight into Khmer and Hindu mythology and history. It's advisable to dedicate more than a day to explore the sacred grounds.

4. Fiji 
Smack dab on the 180-degree longitude line, Fiji is one of the first spots in the world to see the sun rise every day. The South Pacific destination is a favourite among lovers of turquoise seas and white-sand beaches. Tip: Follow an sunrise up with a morning exploration; the 'soft coral capital of the world' offers some of the best scuba diving in the world.

5. Mount Kilimanjaro, Tanzania 
Climbing Mount Kilimanjaro is a fun attraction for adventure travellers. You have one of the most enchanting sunrises in the world here. From Kili's summit — 19,341 feet above sea level — dedicated souls can soak up the sights.

6. Stonehenge, England
Equinox devotees gather here every year for the Vernal Equinox. A place of sun worship still, Stonehenge is a mysterious destination that holds deep spiritual value for travellers. Stonehenge is also known for its magical sunrise. 7 TRES CRUCES, PERU A six-hour bus ride from Cuzco, the gateway to Machu Picchu, Tres Cruces is undeniably worth the long trek. It presents a mind-blowing sunrise to visitors. The view boasts celestial hues and camera moments from above the clouds.

8. Tulum, Mexico
The coastal oasis of Tulum draws spiritual travellers and yoga-types year-round to soak up exquisite culture, history and scenery all in a single spot. Visitors are up with the sun (and often in bed shortly after the sun goes down). No need to set an alarm in Tulum, where sun worshippers gather at the shoreline daily to watch the sunrise.

9. Grand Canyon, Arizona, USA
The most impressive sunrises in the United States occur every day across the Grand Canyon. Cool purples melt into shades bronze and orange against the inspiring scenery, arguably Maricopa, Hopi, and Mather points and spots along the South Rim are recommended as places to catch the best sunrise.

10. Mount Sinal, Egypt
First a history refresher: Jews, Christians and Muslims alike believe that Moses received the 10 Commandments at the biblical Mount Sinai, as said to be mentioned in the Torah, Bible and Koran. An important religious destination, Mount Sinai today draws believers who scale the route by foot for religious purposes, and for the chance to see one of the most inspiring sunrises in the world.

The well-kept secrets of Angkor Wat

Angkor what?

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If you look beyond the smiling Buddha faces of Bayon and the towers of Angkor Wat, you might stumble upon a sleepy district lost somewhere in the shadows of its more popular neighbour Siem Reap. 

Battambang, surprisingly the second largest city in Cambodia, is where I finally found the bona fide flavour of the country and which doesn't adhere to rules laid down for its tourist-centric trail. 

Initially, I wanted to take a boat to Battambangfrom Siem Reap, despite knowing that the journey time would be doubled. The water levels of the Tonle Sap river were quite low, so that made sure I stuck to the three-hour road journey. To my surprise, this town that came across as a laid-back settlement, was actually the second-largest in Cambodia and has witnessed its fair share of tumultuous events in Cambodia's long, mutinous history. 

The bamboo train 
Apart from the past that it still retains, Battambang has also held on to its ancient bamboo train system. Extremely impatient for a ride, I left the very same day for Odambang, the village from where you can 'board' the train. The train is nothing more than a large bamboo platform mounted on train axles powered by a small gokart engine, and as mundane as it looks, the journey atop is nothing short of exhilarating. 

I didn't realise it till I sat on it, and waited for the young boy to pull the engine cord that brought the bamboo train to life. Within a few seconds, we were hurtling through greenery with fierce speed. With no roof, doors, or seatbelts and with only a railing to hold on to, it's more thrillingthan a rollercoaster ride. The most quirky part is that when another bamboo train approaches from the opposite side, you have to stop to get off, heave the cart off the tracks, change positions and resume! It could actually be tiresome once the novelty wears off, but the teamwork of strangers is quite endearing. 

For ages, the rural parts of the surrounding region have had the bamboo train as its most dependable mode of transport. I was sad to learn that it was phasing out and would soon be replaced by the modern railway system, and glad that I had a chance to experience it before that happened. 

Art of making rice paper 
Around the main Battambang town are a host of elfin villages that introduce you to the rural heart of Cambodia in a way that none of the other places here do. I started this tryst in one such village where I saw and learnt the traditional way of making 'rice paper'. This is not the paper used for artwork but refers to the thin, translucent layer of pounded and steamed rice used to wrap fresh spring rolls. 

Until I spent hours there observing how the rice is boiled, drained and milled before even starting the real process, I would have never thought of the humungous effort that goes into making an everyday dish here. My remork or 'tuk tuk' driver was on a mission to show me 'real Cambodian food' and the village of Phsa Prohok welcomed us with a stench that pervaded my senses for days after. 

Fish paste, which is a condiment of freshly pounded fish of all kinds that is left to rot, is a major ingredient in authentic homemade Cambodian food. Though I was assured by everyone that once cooked, the smell evaporates, there was no way I could be convinced to buy some and try it out. What I did buy though was the delicious bamboo sticky rice. Though it is found pretty much all over Cambodia, the sticky rice in Battambang, the 'rice bowl of Cambodia' is famous all over. Getting off from the ubiquitous hammock that Cambodians love to lie in, the young girl at the roadside shack heated one of the bamboo pieces over fire and cracked it open to reveal the ready mix of steamed rice, coconut milk and nuts. Despite not being a rice lover, I devoured it in minutes. No visit to the palate trail is complete without a visit to the petite Battambang Winery, the sole winery of Cambodia, so we made a pit stop there to sample the traditional red and white wines apart from the locally brewed brandy and delicious ginger ale. 

The mini Angkor Wat 
While Angkor Wat is Cambodia's biggest draw, few know that tucked away in Battambang is a primeval temple that is believed to have been the inspiration for the magnum opus. A long flight of steps up the quiet hillock takes you to the Banon temple which was built in the 11th century by Udayadityavarman II. It has five towers pointing towards the sky and looks like a smaller version of Angkor Wat. 

Being surrounded by dense foliage, it's hard to get anything more than a glimpse of the expanse below. But if you want a grand view, the best bet is the hill atop which rests the temple Phnom Sampeu. It commands a surreal sight of Battambang in the distance and a vast canopy of green in the foreground of the dark hills that glow like embers in the last rays of the dying sun. Before it turned completely dark, I spiralled down the hill on a 'bike taxi' for my most awaited moment. 

The colony of bats 
Close to the base is a limestone cave that houses a colony of bats that numbers close to three million. I was sceptical initially, as I had not read about it in my guidebook or heard about it from fellow travellers, but I decided to give it a shot because the locals know best. We parked the bike on the roadside and stood solemnly like the handful of other people waiting for the spectacle. I turned my face towards the cave that a native pointed out and waited with bated breath. As the light began to dip, the distant din grew louder and slowly the insect bats spilled out of the cave's mouth, tumbling, reeling and getting back into the file that flew towards the fields each night in search of food. I stood there with my neck craned up for nearly an hour, amazed at this secret that Battambang cradles. As the last of the bats dissolved into the night, I left the site trying to discern the dark track still moving across the sky. I'm not sure if the bats earned Battambang a special place in my heart, but they would definitely be a big part of my reason to return. 

Fact file 
Getting there: 
Fly to Siem Reap via Bangkok. From Siem Reap, it's a three-hour bus journey to Battambang. 

Best time to go: 
Winter (November-March) is the best time to beat the humidity. 

Preparing for Spontaneous Travel

WHEN Sam Shank began HotelTonight, a last-minute hotel booking app, two years ago, he thought its typical user would be a business traveler in need of a place to lay her head.

Turns out the app also appeals to impulse travelers, with some booking rooms at 2 a.m. for that night (or rather morning).

“They said, ‘Hey, instead of going home tonight, let’s do a hotel stay,’ ” Mr. Shank said. “That’s something we’ve set as a company goal: to make the world a more spontaneous place.” For revelers scrambling to make plans for New Year’s Eve, below are edited excerpts from a conversation with Mr. Shank on booking (very) last-minute travel. 

Q. A paradoxical question: how do you prepare in order to be ready for a spontaneous staycation?

A. I keep an overnight bag at my desk with a change of clothes, toiletries and a phone charger, just in case. On my iPhone there are a couple of must-have apps. Of course, HotelTonight. Sales go live every day at noon, and you can find discounts on high-end hotels or something more no-frills. There’s also GrubHub, which allows me to order food anytime to any hotel, if I want something different from room service. WillCall, an app for last-minute concert tickets, which is only in San Francisco, but it’s coming to Los Angeles and New York, too. And Score Big, a Web site that lets you get tickets to sporting events that night.

Q. What if you’re looking to explore a new city?

A. Good discounts on last-minute flights are hard to find because airlines make more money off targeting corporate customers and raising prices, but it’s possible. Pay attention to the e-fares from carriers like United or Delta that appear on Tuesdays. They’re reduced fares just for that upcoming weekend, and the destinations change every week, so it’s good if you have flexibility with where you want to go. Or do a road trip. There are so many great places within a couple hours of major cities. Napa Valley is a bit rainy this time of year, but the whole lifestyle — luxurious accommodations, incredible culinary scene, winemakers — that doesn’t change, and comes at a third of the price. Same for Newport, R.I., popular among our Boston users.

Q. Any tips for car rentals?

A. Getaround is a car-sharing site and app based in San Francisco, but it’s expanded now to Austin, Portland, San Diego. It’s like an Airbnb for automobiles. You not only save money, but you also could rent someone’s car that’s a lot more interesting than your run-of-the-mill airport rental.

Q. You’re in the new city. Now what do you do?

A. Foursquare is great for finding out what’s popular in a new city, or even your own city. Their recommendations are more trustworthy than other sites operating only on ratings and reviews. Foursquare’s looking at the number of people checking in to a place, and how often, the types of people, and how similar they are to you. You’re getting visitation data, not just review data.

They have a great international presence, too. When I was in London this summer, I looked on Foursquare for a bar near my hotel. Walked to this crazy little bar, tucked away in this tiny street in Chelsea. England was playing in the Euro soccer cup, this really tense game. It was this quintessential London experience, capped off by the fact that Prince Harry was in attendance.

10 out-of-this-world places

The salt flats of Bolivia. (Photo: Laumerle / Dreamstime.com)

Rivers that run red. Blinding white landscapes. Cliffs that wave in swirls of orange. No, those aren't works of science fiction. They are wonders of nature that will leave you shaking your head and wondering just how that is possible. 

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The best part? You won't need a spaceship to get there. We've outlined exactly how you can get there—which in most cases is surprisingly easy.

Salt Flats, Bolivia

The name says it all. This blindingly white landscape in central Bolivia really is salt. Also known as Salar de Uyuni, the area is said to have been created about 30,000 years ago when Lago Minchin dried up, leaving the salt behind. 

Today, 10 billion tons remain spread across around 4,000 square miles, where it cracks in naturally occurring hexagonal designs. Go during the rainy season (January to March) and the thin layer of water spread over the flats creates the illusion of a never-ending mirror.

The Chocolate Hills, The Philippines(Photo: Olga Khoroshunova / Dreamstime.com)

Local lore has it that the mounds on the Philippine island of Bohol were formed from the tears of a giant who fell in love with a local girl. The scientific reason behind the formation of the limestone hills is likely far less romantic (though geologists have not been able to reach a conclusion on the hills' origin). Alas, this is not a Willy Wonka paradise. The name comes from the brown color of the mounds in the winter. If you go in the summer, they will be a vibrant green. Either way, the more than 1,200 conical hills, which vary between around 100 and almost 40 feet high, are a site to behold.

Rio Tinto, Spain(Photo: Luis Estallo / Dreamstime.com)

Rio Tinto literally translates to Red River, and it is not a misnomer. The 62-mile-long river does run red and the banks look downright lunar as well. The cause? A combination of rare bacteria, a low oxygen count, and pollution from mining for gold, silver, and copper—which has been going on since 3,000 B.C. The river and landscape in this area of southwestern Spain are so Martian that NASA scientists have studied the composition.


Giant's Causeway, Northern Ireland(Photo: Dariophotography / Dreamstime.com)

Hike down along the coast at the northern end of Northern Ireland and you'll come across a scene that will leave you scratching your head: Hexagonal stones that stacked along the water like the world's largest Qbert set. There are almost 40,000 of the ballast columns, formed 60 million years ago by magma that spewed and cooled along the coast. Some of the columns reach almost 40 feet high, while others are short enough to walk across. One of the most striking sites is the Giant's Organ, a collection of 60 ballasts more than 39 feet high with three shorter tiers, giving the effect of an elaborate organ.

Spotted Lake, British Columbia(Photo: Lijuan Guo / Dreamstime.com)

This may be the most psychedelic place on earth. During the warmest months of the year (June through September), the water in this 61-acre lake evaporates, leaving behind rings that make canonical shapes. The high levels of minerals like calcium and magnesium (plus silver and titanium) have the water reflecting blue, green, and even yellow. The lake is a spiritual place for the people of the Osoyoos First Nation and legend has it that the minerals give the water healing powers. Don't even think about filling up a bottle, though. The lake is protected and there is no direct access to the public.

Socotra Island, Indian Ocean(Photo: Courtesy USAHITMAN)

While the other locations on this list are amazing due to the landscape, it's the flora on this island 250 miles off the coast of Yemen that makes it so unbelievable. The largest of the four-island Socotra Archipelago, the island has about 250 species of plants that are not found anywhere else in the world. This includes the canopy-topped dragon's blood tree, which has blood-red resin that runs down if the trunk is pierced, and the desert rose, which can grow to 10 feet with a bulbous trunk that swells with water absorbed in anticipation of dry weather.

Vermilion Cliffs National Monument, Arizona(Photo: Marcel Schauer / Dreamstime.com)

This wilderness in northern Arizona/southernUtah is home to some of the most striking landscapes in the American Southwest, and that's saying a lot. The nearly 300,000-acre site is known for its abundance of colorful shale and Navajo sandstone that been eroded by the elements to create cliffs and escarpments that rise as high as 3,000 feet. In the northwest of the park is the Coyote Buttes, where you'll find The Wave, a wall of red sandstone that twists and turns in a way that just doesn't look natural—but is.

Perito Moreno Glacier, Argentina(Photo: Courtesy pclvv/Flickr)

The immense size of the Perito Moreno Glacier is incredible—it is more than 50 miles in length and 500 feet deep. The terminus of the glacier is Lago Argentino, where a 50-foot blue-hued ice wall rises from the lake. The Perito Moreno is also one of the only glaciers left on earth that is still growing. As it expands it causes a dam in the lake, and when the lake's water wears away at the ice, a giant rupture is caused. The natural occurrence happens every few years. The last one was in March 2012.

Zhangjiajie National Forest Park, China(Photo: Jerryway / Dreamstime.com)

The towering limestone pillars at this park, part of the Wulingyuan Scenic Area in China's Yunnan Province, may look familiar—rumor has it that they were the inspiration for the floating forests in “Avatar's” fictitious world of Pandora. There are 3,000 of the jagged columns—at least one rising more than 3,500 feet in the air—that got their start more than 200 million years ago when seas receded and the limestone landscape took over. Today about 157 different types of trees grow in the forest park (including the rare Chinese dove tree) and the frequent fog that covers the area makes them seem even more cinematic.

Simpson Desert, Australia(Photo: Olivier Meerson / Dreamstime.com)

Australia is a large land mass with many extremes, but there is nothing like the Simpson Desert, which lies in a largely uninhabited region near the center of the country. That's because sand that swirls through the 54,000-square-mile desert is a blood red. This is a dunal desert, with linear dunes that can be 125 miles long and as tall as 23 miles. The color comes from iron oxide in the sand, with shades ranging from light pink to blood red. The further you get from area's river channels, the deeper—and more unsettling—the tone.

Be Our Guest

A longtime hotel employee pulls back the curtain on the business of hospitality.

By Alice Gregor

Illustration by Lilli Carré.

The novel sensation that unites any trip—business or pleasure—is how quickly the hotel becomes home. You swipe your keycard, flop face down on the bed, root around the minibar for snacks you won’t eat, and assess the shampoo situation. Within moments you’ve memorized the contours of your suite as though it were a childhood bedroom, and you treat it as such—leaving laundry in piles and neglecting to turn the TV off.

This is common sentiment. Wayne Koestenbaum refers to the hotel’s “sluttish core,” and Geoff Dyer, in his fantastic essay on sex in hotel rooms, writes that in a hotel “you become a non-person and are granted an ethical equivalent of diplomatic immunity.” (Although maybe not if you’re Dominique Strauss-Kahn.) That ease is of course thanks to the teams of polyester-suited employees whose job is to maintain this adolescent unreality. The systemic sleights of hand that make up hotel life—many of them nefarious—are chronicled in Jacob Tomsky’s new book, Heads in Beds: A Reckless Memoir of Hotels, Hustles, and So-Called Hospitality. Tomsky’s M.O. is profane populism, and with it he cracks open hotelier extraordinaire Cesar Ritz’s maxim that “people like to be served, but invisibly.” In so doing, Tomsky offers up insider tips, galling confessions, and just enough smut.

If Kitchen Confidential dissuaded you from ever ordering mussels again (remember how they “wallow in their own foul-smelling piss”?), then Heads in Beds will make you question the sparkliness of complimentary flutes of champagne (shined with furniture polish) and pause before spraying your own cologne (potentially tainted with an employee’s vengeful urine). Never again will you wonder why, when visiting New York, the phone in your room rang off the hook: You were rude when checking in and given room 1212 as punishment—people forget to dial 9 to get out.

Tomsky, who worked his way up from valet in New Orleans to Manhattan front-desk agent, is part shaman (“I was infinite. All things to all people.”) and part Patrick Bateman (“Service is about minimizing negatives and creating the illusion of perfection”). “Hotels are methadone clinics for the travel addicted,” he writes, and indeed, the book follows him to Europe and back again. However humiliating and tedious his duties, Tomsky remains resilient. What seems to buoy him despite rude patrons, incompetent managers, and deluded celebrities is the promise of outsize creative returns. Constant cordiality is taxing, but there’s no arguing the fact that the infinite stream of guests makes for good fodder—Faulkner too worked a front desk, after all, and Nathanael West wrote Miss Lonelyheartsduring his night shift.

Tomsky’s anecdotes are endless: a co-worker learning to drive stick shift on a guest’s overnight ticket, a Pepsi exec who rents a block of rooms for a convention and demands that the Cokes be removed from all the minibars. And the fun facts are bountiful: Hotels’ no-show rate averages 10 percent, which means hotels try to always book at 110 percent capacity. “Putting a head in every bed,” writes Tomsky, “is called a ‘perfect sell.’ ”

The book, which charmingly has no 13^th chapter, is cut through with detours, many of them more interesting than Tomsky’s actual memoir. Early on, he gives a microhistory of hotels in America, which were nonexistent until after George Washington embarked on his first presidential tour and insisted—for the optics—on staying at local taverns rather than with friends. He was disgusted with his lodgings, and a new industry was born. Later, we get the origin story of the wheeled suitcase and a riff on how it “instigated a catastrophic change,” turning now-obsolete bellmen into “anachronistic hunters” who “roam the plains of lobbies across the world, starving for a kill.”

At his best, Tomsky is at once fratty and industry-specific: An occupational hazard of hotel work is “getting a Samsonite to the balls.” But he can also be unexpectedly literary, as when he compares hotel hallways to ghost towns, “doors wedged open by abandoned carts, not a houseman to be found.” Mostly though, he’s the guy who saddles up next to you at the hotel bar and doesn’t stop talking.

Though almost cartoonishly obscene, Tomsky is not particularly prurient. He speculates that one frequent guest is a prostitute and talks about finding “bondage gear still attached to a towel holder that had been ripped out of the wall.” He mentions purposeful robe slips and “guests who must have heard me knock, guests who seemed to climax at my embarrassment.” But otherwise, he’s less excited by imagining guests’ sexual appetites than he is enraged by their rudeness. It’s possible Tomsky is just desensitized, having spent his entire adult life proximate to people who are aroused, if only circumstantially. But it’s a shame that the book isn’t sexier.

Tomsky’s freewheeling swagger—“Kidnap me, duct tape my face, drop me out of a plane, and I promise you I will land in a parking lot adjacent to a hotel and in less than a day I’ll be wearing a suit, assisting guests, earning a nice check, and making friends at the local bar”— can feel, at times, like overcompensation for the fact that his life has not much changed. He still works at a hotel, and as in any tragicomedy, escape seems impossible.Heads in Beds is not a redemptive tale, nor is it told with much distance. Mostly—though tacitly and maybe unintentionally—it’s about the degree to which youthful inertia can determine a whole life.

Author Jacob Tomsky.

Courtesy of the author.

For a brief moment, Tomsky considers quitting the racket and getting a job in publishing. But no luck: “I had been like some prostitute trying to get a secretarial position, only to have the interviewer come around the desk, get uncomfortably close, maybe lay an inappropriate hand on my knee, and say, ‘Look. You’re a whore. You’re a good whore. Why don’t you stop messing around and get back to working the corner, huh? Come on, baby, it can’t be that bad, can it?’ ”

Tomsky abridges his book at the end, offering a series of explanatory “appendixes” (sic?): “Things a Guest Should Never Say,” “Things a Guest Should Never Do,” “Standard LIES That Spew from the Mouth of a Front Desk Agent,” etc. And while the précis is fun, it’s arguably self-defeating: It’s like getting all the good bits from Tomsky’s surely-hoped-for Today show appearance, while rendering the previous 234 pages a bit moot. But the duration—and the abrasiveness—is necessary. All of the incremental injuries that Tomsky suffers are accrued on account of our pleasure. Heads in Beds is a humane book, if not in its motivation, then in its effect. Read it, and you will never not tip again.

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