It is clear that a primary human condition for overall good health and well being is to live in a state of hopefulness. Conversely, when hope is missing, the world appears to to take on a darker complexion. What then, does living with hope got to do with your parent teenager relationship?
Much of the pleasure and stimulation of life lies in the act of dreaming, fantasizing, anticipating, planning and asking the question: "what if?" However by choice or inadvertently, a parent can divert a teenager away from hope and accept the inevitability of disappointment. How does that happen? It happens in two ways.
Firstly. In your parent teenager relationship you set up your teenager for disappointment should you model hopelessness and despair in the way you choose to live your life.
Secondly. In your parent teenager relationship, you invite your teenager to live in a world of disappointment if you have little or no time to listen to the dreams of your teenager. Let's say for example, your teenager comes to you one day and tells you that they want you to buy them a boat and to someday sail all around the world. It may be very easy for you to flatly say "no" and simply not want to discuss it at all.
I daresay there are so many kids in this world who live for the first twenty or so years of their life and always hear their parent saying "no"as if "no"was their nickname. Think for a moment what it would do the self confidence and self esteem of a kid if they had a parent who supported and encouraged them to pursue dreams that transcended the mundane? Wouldn't such a kid be well positioned to be able to make a valuable contribution to the betterment of humanity compared to the kid who always feel let down when they are told "no"?
In fact when it comes to dreaming, the parent teenager relationship period of a child's life presents the best opportunity. Why? Because it is during late adolesence that a human being develops an emotional need to know who they are and what their life is for.
Still, the question remains: "how can you as the parent get emotionally involved in assisting your teenager to pursue their dreams without just giving them everything they simply ask for? Let me tell you how.
Using the above example where the teenager comes to their parent and asks for a boat so that they can eventually sail around the world. Instead of talking about the money it would cost, the difficulty of getting trained, the risks involved and so on, the parent could say: "So you want to get a boat and sail around the world? Tell me more about it".
By listening carefully and being a sounding board for your teenager he may provide you with a detailed account of what kind of boat is needed, what equipment and what route to travel. Such a conversation may then lead to borrowing books from the library, getting information off the Internet and even joining a local sailing club. Whether or not the dream comes to fruition is not the point. Rather it is the encouragement to be allowed to dream dreams and ask "what if?"
What this all boils down to in your parent teenager relationship, is that you as parent holds the key to help open the door to endless possibilities for your teenager.
Much of the pleasure and stimulation of life lies in the act of dreaming, fantasizing, anticipating, planning and asking the question: "what if?" However by choice or inadvertently, a parent can divert a teenager away from hope and accept the inevitability of disappointment. How does that happen? It happens in two ways.
Firstly. In your parent teenager relationship you set up your teenager for disappointment should you model hopelessness and despair in the way you choose to live your life.
Secondly. In your parent teenager relationship, you invite your teenager to live in a world of disappointment if you have little or no time to listen to the dreams of your teenager. Let's say for example, your teenager comes to you one day and tells you that they want you to buy them a boat and to someday sail all around the world. It may be very easy for you to flatly say "no" and simply not want to discuss it at all.
I daresay there are so many kids in this world who live for the first twenty or so years of their life and always hear their parent saying "no"as if "no"was their nickname. Think for a moment what it would do the self confidence and self esteem of a kid if they had a parent who supported and encouraged them to pursue dreams that transcended the mundane? Wouldn't such a kid be well positioned to be able to make a valuable contribution to the betterment of humanity compared to the kid who always feel let down when they are told "no"?
In fact when it comes to dreaming, the parent teenager relationship period of a child's life presents the best opportunity. Why? Because it is during late adolesence that a human being develops an emotional need to know who they are and what their life is for.
Still, the question remains: "how can you as the parent get emotionally involved in assisting your teenager to pursue their dreams without just giving them everything they simply ask for? Let me tell you how.
Using the above example where the teenager comes to their parent and asks for a boat so that they can eventually sail around the world. Instead of talking about the money it would cost, the difficulty of getting trained, the risks involved and so on, the parent could say: "So you want to get a boat and sail around the world? Tell me more about it".
By listening carefully and being a sounding board for your teenager he may provide you with a detailed account of what kind of boat is needed, what equipment and what route to travel. Such a conversation may then lead to borrowing books from the library, getting information off the Internet and even joining a local sailing club. Whether or not the dream comes to fruition is not the point. Rather it is the encouragement to be allowed to dream dreams and ask "what if?"
What this all boils down to in your parent teenager relationship, is that you as parent holds the key to help open the door to endless possibilities for your teenager.
About the Author:
Are you struggling in your relationship with your teen? Are you sick of their constant complaint and attitude? Are you seeking for a way forward? If so, check out parenting expert, Paul Saver's, seven FREE video tips. Each video is power packed with cutting edge content designed to transform your parent teen relationship. Just click on the link.
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